Monday, July 31, 2006
beautiful letdown.
sam's words struck me like a vehicle.
she used "playing", and though it might just seem like a normal verb, it had so many different contexts to it and the one she meant it by was utmost downright negative.
one bumpy road in life i've got to go through, i thought.
but it ain't that.
now Ale knows what i've done wrong, and i know what i've done wrong and it's karma.
i feel like burying my head when i first told Ale about it.
i saw her face change and all; i don't blame her thinking of me as a downright bastard and i wished she just gave me a tight slap right at that moment.
i'm so sorry, please kill me Ale. i'm ridden with guilt.
anyway,
thank you so much for giving me that.
i can't face you right now i hope you understand.
it's just that i don't want to fall into the pit again
and i don't want to get hurt thrice.
it's never going to be like before.
Switchfoot - Twenty-Four
"Twenty-four oceans
Twenty-four skies
Twenty-four failures
And twenty-four tries
Twenty-four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
With twenty-four drop outs
At the end of the day
Life is not what I thought it was twenty-four hours ago
Still I'm singing 'Spirit, take me up in arms with You'
And I'm not who I thought I was twenty-four hours ago
Still I'm singing 'Spirit, take me up in arms with You'
There's twenty-four reasons
To admit that I'm wrong
With all my excuses still twenty-four strong
See, I'm not copping out
Not copping out, not copping out
When you're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, I am the second man now
And you're raising these twenty-four voices
With twenty-four hearts
All of my symphonies in twenty-four parts
But I want to be one today
Centered and true I'm singing 'Spirit take me up in arms with You'
You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh I am the second man now
And you're raising the dead in me
Yeah I wanna see miracles
To see the world change
Wrestled the angel for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause I'm singing 'Spirit, take me up in arms with You'
And you're raising the dead in me
Twenty-four oceans
With twenty-four hearts
All of my symphonies with twenty-four parts
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty-four hours ago
Still I'm singing 'Spirit, take me up in arms with You'
I'm not copping out
Not copping out."
Sunday, July 30, 2006
felt the silence.
just came home from ASEAN dance.
overall it rocked for the 1st half of the night.
but when it came to around 10 plus it kinda sucked.
special thanks to Mac, Christin, Zhang, Yoga, Wenhao and Alex
and really really BIG HUGS to Ale, Ryan and Avril!
without them my night would have be ruined.
i knew exactly what would happen right before it happened.
guess it's so damn predictable of you.
you know what? whatever.
it's not like you cared anyway
it wouldnt last anyway, the whole freaking universe knows it.
they said no pain, no gain;
but the pain i went through had no gain at all.
ahh felt bad for disturbing Ryan and gang the whole night.
stupid me.
always at the wrong place at the wrong time.
Goo Goo Dolls - Feel the Silence
"You lie awake at night
With blue eyes that never cry
All you remember now
Is what you feel
The truth remains
In midnight conversations
I asked for this moment
But you turned away
Sad like a lonely child
Broken the day you're born
I held the light to you
But I was so vain
And you remain
A promise unfulfilled
I ask you for more
But you push me away
And if we feel the silence
Holding this all inside us
Everything means more now than
Words could explain
And if we feel the silence
Leaving this all behind us
Looking for something more to say
I don't know where I'm going
Only know where I been
But you move through my soul like a hurricane wind
We've been so lost for so long
I don't know how to get back again
And we're drowning in the water
That flows under this bridge
When you're fighting the current
You forget how to live
And I wanted to reach you but I don't know where to begin
And you remain
A promise unfulfilled until today
And if we feel the silence
Holding this all inside us
Everything means more now than
Words could explain
And if we feel the silence
Leaving this all behind us
When it's gone what will you say
How do we hold on?
You lie awake at night
With blue eyes that never cry."
Friday, July 28, 2006
vindicated``
first of all, if you don't want something, just give it a clear and simple "NO"
it was never clear cut or direct
don't be a dick and beat around the bush;
it makes others feel kinda fucked up after that.
10 more days
going uphill now
just 2 more days to ASEAN dance whee!
can't wait for it.
All the scholars, wait,
and the non-scholars Avril and I are going!
going to be bankrupt soon, but the end of the month is near.
Keane - Somewhere Only We Know
"I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
So why don't we go
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know? "
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
criss-cut.
6 months were great.
the memories i had would last forever.
of course, there were good times and bad times;
but most of the time the bad stuff would be forgotten.
i would just lock these memories up
in some small compartment of my heart.
when years go by, when i open the doors to this;
i would look back what wrong i did, what feelings were struck.
i guess you'll never regret the things that you've done;
and i'll never forget the fun in the sun.
12 more days to go and i'm doing fine right now
all thanks to everyone!
Band name creating was so much fun today. We did our song a few times and it rocked real great. but Chriselle got herself quite high and started to lean on Kat, jumping around like a maniac etc. YIKES haha. then we thought of our band names, one wonderful one was Swashbucklin' Adventure. sounds very very pirate-y but it is damn catchy and great. we intend to like change our band name to that if we were to get in the finals for Battle of the Bands! speaking of that, we shall be performing tmr at LT5 at 4.30pm! so come down if you're reading this now. and i mean it wahaha.
Green Day - Wake Me Up When September Ends
"Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are
as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends
summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when september ends
here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are
as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
like my father's come to pass
twenty years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends."
Monday, July 24, 2006
artificial smile.
is what i wore on today.
'if you love someone, you've got to learn to let them go.
if that special someone returns, it means they're the one meant for you;
but if they don't then they're not meant to be.'
desperation leads to self-crumble - that's what i learnt today.
sure i fell down and hard.
but there were always people there to pick me up when i fall.
Ben, Ale, Ryan, Wenhao, Jo, Yun, Bae, Jingan, Sen, Sasha and the list goes on.
i can't stop thanking you guys for your time spent on me.
"2 weeks" said Ryan, "if you can go through 2 weeks, you're done."
i assured him that i could make it through.
She's got a pretty smile,
it covers up the poison that she hides.
She walks around in circles in my head,
waiting for a chance to break me, a chance to take me down.
Only One by Lifehouse. The song of my life. The song of Ben's life as well.
I guess you're the only one
that nobody changes.
I can't stop thinking about this song, how it replays my life. how it replays lots of people's lives.
It's all confusingly amusing,
bitter and tainted; the picture you painted to me.
sorry about the last post, it's all impulsive. without those people mentioned above, i wouldnt be in a calm and sane state right now.
still can't get it out of my mind,
I've tried to find myself in approval;
I've already been there, already done that
but it got me nowhere, it brought me nothing.
I guess you're the only one that nobody changes;
I guess you're the only one who will never change faces.
I guess....
don't you worry guys. i think i'll be fine - i THINK. for the time being.
blank
first of all: FUCK LIFE.
there has no such time in my life when i actually hate myself.
i hate myself. i really do.
Only One by Lifehouse totally fits into my scenario now.
what was last night's dreams has turned into tonight's worst nightmare.
i swear it was game over before then i threw more coins into the machine; and now i'm being thrashed by the machine again.
up to this point for those who are reading : I'm not fucking okay.
i feel so much like dying(not committing suicide).
Ripped. Torn. Broken. Fallen.
i kept myself going. i tried to.
now what is left of me is almost nothing.
i choose to hold on it's a decision i made solely by myself despite the external factors telling me not to.
once bitten, twice shy. i choose not to follow this quote and i get shit back.
i wish i would just fucking disappear from this world. never to return.
all the emotional bullshit has been gone.
i'll never be the old side of me anymore.
i'll never see myself the same way.
i'll never get to smile as broadly as before.
if there's a god would he please pick me up?
i turning almost everything into hate right now i need a break.
still, millions of thanks to Ale, Wenhao, Ben, Jo and those out there always supportive of me and keeping me from falling.
Thanks for the rope Ben, though it's gonna snap soon.
i'm either gonna make or break, though the latter seems so right now.
i'm so sorry for the troubles i've caused.
Darius - Live Twice
"Don't leave now
Not yet
There are words I
Regret
And I'm sorry
Somehow
I only
Wanted to make you proud
If I could only let you know
I'd give up everything I own
For just one more day with you
There's nothing I wouldn't do
I could not let it pass me by
If I make every sacrifice
To bring me back your love
If only we could live twice
If only we could live twice
When you told me
I froze
It still echoes
In my soul
Please forgive me
If I didn't say
I love you
Every single day
If I could only let you know
I'd give up everything I own
For just one more day with you
There's nothing I wouldn't do
I could not let it pass me by
If I make every sacrifice
To bring me back your love
If only we could live twice
If only we could live twice
Nobody told me we'd only get one chance
I didn't know that our tide would turn so fast
Why we have to say goodbye I don't understand
If I could only let you know
I'd give up everything I own
For just one more day with you
There's nothing I wouldn't do
I could not let it pass me by
If I make every sacrifice
To bring me back your love
If only we could live twice
I could not let it pass me by
Nothing I give to sacrifice
To bring me back your love
If only we could live twice
If only we could live twice
We'll meet in another life
If only we could live twice"
Sunday, July 23, 2006
more than you'll ever know.
I had a dream last night.
You were in it.
Corny as it sounds, the dream was wonderful.
For once in eternity, I actually woke up smiling; feeling great.
It's like one of those dreams you wouldn't want to wake up from.
Sucks that I did.
And it's been such a long time since it happened,
but I can actually remember almost every single detail of that dream.
It's entrenched in my mind; like it actually happened.
Too bad it never did.
Wished it would.
Shall not describe any detail of that dream I had,
gosh I sound real cheesy.
Lifehouse - Hanging by a Moment
"Desperate for changing, starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
Forgetting all I'm lacking, completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation, you take all of me now
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
There's nothing else to lose, there's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world that can change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
Desperate for changing, starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
Just hanging by a moment
Hanging by a moment
Hanging by a moment
Hanging by a moment here with you."
Saturday, July 22, 2006
only one. i guess
hope dangles on a string.
yes it does.
and i don't know why.
i guess you're the only one.
but sucks to be me.
i held on.
i wish that i had found the words to tell you how i felt.
but i didnt.
and i feel foolish for being so.
did you know that it was always you?
Teddy Geiger - For You I Will
"I'm wandering the streets, in a world underneath it all
Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet
As what I can't have
Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair round your finger
Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you
What I feel about you.
Oh, I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
and cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will,
For you I will
Forgive me if I st-stutter
From all of the clutter in my head
Cuz I could fall asleep in those eyes
Like a water bed
Do I seem familiar, I've crossed you in hallways
a thousand times, no more camouflage
I want to be exposed,
and not be afraid to fall.
Oh, I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will,
For you I will,
For you I will
For you
If I could dim the lights in the mall
And create a mood, I would
Shout out your name so it echos in every room
Yeah, that's what I'd do,
That's what I'd do to get through to you, yeah
Oh, I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will,
For you I will,
For you I will
For you I will "
Monday, July 17, 2006
quandary.
how i lay still on my bed so many nights, staring into the dark ceiling, pondering.
how i wonder whether the stars would shine for me when nights are the darkest.
how i hoped my overcast shadow would be my pillars of support when i fall.
how i wished bygones were forgotten so easily after waking up fresh every morning.
thanks to everyone who is always there, keeping me from letting go.
especially Ben for his countless time, Shaun for always keeping my mood up, Ryan & Wenhao for making me smile, Sen & Jingan for keeping my mind off, Wel for everything.
the funniest thing about it is that i'll never know how it turns out. sometimes it surprises me, other times it lets me down. it's a short post today; take care everyone and bye.
Darius - Journey's End
"Are we really out of time?
Is there nothing we can try?
If I say what's in my heart
Do you promise not to cry?
Did you know how much it takes ?
Will this be my last mistake ?
Not to tell you how I'm scared
Then to watch you as you're slipping away
Will you know how much
I love you?
Will you know how much
I care for you?
This can't be the way it ends
Stay
Don't let this moment break
Just let me touch your face
I wish that I had found the words
To tell you how I feel
Cause every time you breathe
You take my breath away
And now I know
No matter where the road may go
You'll always be the sun
Did you know?
Did you know?
Can my love drown out this fear ?
Will time dry out these tears?
If I whisper how I feel
Will you hear what's in my head?
How I hung on every move
How I treasured every touch
How I can't believe you felt the same
How I can't believe we're out of time
Did you know you were my reason?
Did you know that it was always you?
This can't be the way it ends
This can't be your journey's end
Stay
Don't let this moment break
Just let me touch your face
I wish that I had found the words
To tell you how I feel
Cause every time you breathe
You'll take my breath away
And now I know
No matter where the road may go
You'll always be the sun
Did you know?
Did you know?
Did you know?
If we had just one more day
Could I say what's not been said?
Could I tell you all you mean to me?
All that's burning in my head
This can't be the way it ends
This can't be your journey's end."
Friday, July 14, 2006
everything.
first of all things which is the most important : HAPPY BIRTHDAY to BEN!
the dude's 17 officially right about.....now; take care man. jam jam rock rock.
what an exhausting day today was. in the morning we rushed to MacRitchie to support the canoeists and under the rain and all. fortunately they won by a landslide!(they better do=.=)
after that was soccer with the guys. aww yucks. HEH shall improve on my finishing. BOO to my spoiling shoes.
after that was dance passing down party, grats to Anastasya our new Dance Pres! Ale for Hip-Hop VP! Wenhao a.k.a. Pikachu and Joanna for getting the Welfare Officers(these guys rocks). Yoga the Treasurer etc.
Coincidentally weird, i was blog skipping and saw Soe's blog. This is the cool part; i was listening to Gavin DeGraw's Follow Through and just i scrolled down to the last sentence of her post, it read 'this is the start of something new, don't you agree?' and right at this point, Gavin sang that exact sentence and i felt an immediate rush of adrenaline inside my mind(i dun know why it happened), it feels like the song is trying to tell me something. argh it's just so coincidental and weird.
Just came home from dance too; Mr Gn's dance is great but tiring, just 4 counts of 8 and everyone was dying from exhaustion.
alrite, take care Benny Boy, it's your 17th dude, cherish it don't ruin it. Best Wishes! ciao everyone.
Lifehouse - Everything
"Find me here and speak to me
I want to feel you,
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place
Where I find peace again
You are the strength
That keeps me walking
You are the hope that keeps me trusting
You are the life
To my soul
You are my purpose
You're everything
And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this?
You calm the storms
And you give me rest
You hold me in your hands
You won't let me fall
You steal my heart
And you take my breath away
Would you take me in
Would you take me deeper, now
And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this?
'Cause you're all I want
You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want
You're all I need
You're everything, everything...
When how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this?"
Thursday, July 13, 2006
drowning anyway.
my life couldnt get any worse than now.
2 S and 2 F for my subjects. seriously i am so dumb.
for not studying and taking the tests seriously. and i am just down now.
with all the things happening now.
i'm just trying to cope with this shit called life.
it's downward sloping for me now. it's like i'm rolling down the hill.
for some reason i wish i could tell someone all my problems but i don't wanna burden that person.
it's sick enough for me to suffer already and i don't want another person to know all these crap.
stand tall is all i got to do right now.
i am confused at this other end of my heart where i can't put something down as easily as just saying it.
i said nobody's perfect, but you're perfectly flawed.
and that's why it's all about you.
this song totally fits into my mood right now. ciao.
Lifehouse - Only One
"she's got a pretty smile
it covers up the poison that she hides
she walks around in circles in my head
waiting for a chance to break me
a chance to take me down
now I see the burden you gave me
is too much to carry
too much to bury inside
I guess you're the only one, that nobody changes
I guess you're the only one left standing
when everything else goes down
you're still the only one
it's all shallow and all so appealing
I'm up to my ankles and I'm drowning anyway in a sea
of sarcastic faces, familiar places
everything looks quite the same here
it's all confusingly amusing
bitter and tainted,
the picture you painted to me
I guess you're the only one, that nobody changes
I guess you're the only one left standing
when everything else goes down
you're still the only one
who will never change faces
I guess you're the only one left standing
when everything else goes down
just 'cause it's all in your head
doesn't mean it has to be in mine
don't believe what you said
still can't get it out of my mind
I've tried to find myself in approval
I've already been there, already done that
it got me nowhere
it brought me nothing
but a good place to hide in
no one to confide in now
I guess you're the only one
that nobody changes
I guess you're the only one
that will never change faces
I guess you're the only one."
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
when all have fallen.
team madagascar is out of national sevens. ouch. and we failed to score a single goal throughout the group stages. i sucked. poor passes and control. no finishes. dance elections today. stayed till quite late and went home with Shaun. it's already been 5 days. a week's almost completed.
i can't breathe, i wish i could.
my heart won't beat, i wish it would.
i can't speak, i think i should.
barely a smile today.
for the first time, i felt "better" being alone than with crowds.
when i walk, my legs come to a halt.
when i stop, i stare blankly into space, silently screaming.
caught the eyes once. it opened up my memories and it cracked inside.
i want to talk, yet i don't want to distract you.
officially not myself anymore, i've lost it almost entirely.
i don't know what to do.
Counting Crows - A Murder of One
"Blue morning, Blue morning
Wrapped in strands of fist and bone.
Curiosity, Kitten, doesn't have to mean you're on your own.
You can look outside your window,
He doesn't have to know.
We can talk a while, baby.
We can take it nice and slow.
All my life is such a shame, shame, shame.
All my love is just a dream, dream, dream.
Well, are you happy where you're sleepin'?
Does he keep you safe and warm?
Does he tell you when you're sorry?
Does he tell you when you're wrong?
I've been watching you for hours.
It's been years since we were born.
We were perfect when we started...
I've been wondering where we've gone.
All my life is such a shame, shame, shame.
All my love is just a dream, dream, dream.
Well, I dreamt I saw you walking up a hillside in the snow
Casting shadows on the winter sky as you stood there counting crows.
One for sorrow,
Two for joy,
Three for girls and four for boys,
Five for silver,
Six for gold,
Seven for a secret never to be told.
There's a bird that nests inside you
Sleeping underneath your skin.
Yeah, when you open up your wings to speak
I wish you'd let me in.
All my life is such a shame, shame, shame.
All my love is just a dream, dream, dream.
Open up my eyes
I can see the flames, flames, flames of my wasted life.
I should be ashamed.
Yeah, I don't want to waste my life, baby.
I don't wanna waste my life, now darlin.
Change, change, change."
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
lost.
today ended in a death note again. national sevens sucked for me, cause i sucked. i'll try my best tomorrow. sorry guys. still no mood for happy songs, been listening to down ones.
i guess i took it hard.
it's taking a great toll on me.
my mood's been drained out of me; i find myself staring into nothing so many times today.
no mood to talk, laugh, smile, frown.
down, and i wonder how much longer i can take.
slipping further and further away from myself; i might just crumble soon.
i wonder what's left.
Mcfly - Too Close for Comfort
"I never meant the things I said
To make you cry can I say I'm sorry
It's hard to forget and yes I regret
All these mistakes
I don't know why you're leaving me
But I know you must have your reasons
There's tears in your eyes I watch as you cry
But it's getting late
Was I invading in on your secrets
Was I too close for comfort?
You're pushing me out
When I wanted in
What was I just about to discover
When I got too close for comfort
And driving you home
Guess I'll never know
Remember when we scratched our names
Into the sand and told me you loved me
But now that I find that you've changed your mind
I'm lost for words
And everything I feel for you
I wrote down on one piece of paper
The one in your hand, you won't understand
How much it hurts to let you go
Was I invading in on your secrets
Was I too close for comfort?
You're pushing me out
When I wanted in
What was I just about to discover
I got too close for comfort
driving you home
Guess I'll never know
All this time you've been telling me lies
Hidden in bags that are under your eyes
And when I asked you I knew I was right
But if you turn your back on me now
That I need you most
But you chose let me down, down, down
Wont you think about what you're about to do to me
And back down...
Was I invading in on your secrets
Was I too close for comfort?
You're pushing me out
When I wanted in
What was I just about to discover
I got too close for comfort
You're pushing me out
When I wanted in
I'm driving you home
Guess I'll never know"
Monday, July 10, 2006
silver plane.
i'm tired, but i can't sleep. i ain't got the listening ear for music today, for the first time.
totally had no mood today. spirits were down whole day long. couldnt bring a smile to my face; got many people wondering what happened to the old me.
i am strickened with dejection since morning, felt empty inside of me, like there's nothing left in my soul.
god what's happened.
i lost my old side abruptly, feeling lost at the same time.
didn't felt like talking to anyone, except you.
but i didnt want to distract or disturb you.
don't worry about me, i hate myself when people do so.
i'm sorry but there's nothing much i can do, i cannot bring myself up for now.
Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
"And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
and sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am ." >.<
Sunday, July 09, 2006
collide.
i dunno how i'm feeling. i swear, anyone who asks me how i'm feeling, the answer would be dunno, coz i really dun know. i find myself deep in thought, staring into space.
went to a last session of soccer at Lam Soon yesterday. King was going back to Hong Kong so we had a 'testimonial match' put up for him. Played till 3 plus 4 before heading to Wel's house. washed up and all and both Wel and I headed to plaza for dinner. stayed overnight his place, watched germany vs portugal match.
then woke up quite early and left his place for Plaza Singapura to meet Ben. I sat alone at Carl's Jr. munching hard on my burger; from the time I left his place to PS i had time to think about it. I did though. we went to peninsular plaza to grab Ben's new 400 bucks guitar with rocking sound before he headed over to my place. We did some really great songs today. for once i could raech Hanging by a Moment. Ben recorded Hey Julie and How to Save a Life, while i did Collide. we did quite a good job today but there's room for improvement.
there's nothing much to say coz i ain't got the mood either, shall end today's post with one of my favourites ever, Collide by Howie Day. this song rocks, musically and lyrics wise. take care and goodbye.
Howie Day - Collide
"The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
But I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find, you and I collide
I'm quiet, you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
You somehow find, you and I collide
Don't stop here
I've lost my place
I'm close behind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find, you and I collide."
Friday, July 07, 2006
follow through.
i need to start mugging. REAL SOON.
got an S and U for my Maths and Physics respectively.
i'm really disappointed with myself for not studying hard enough. always procrastinating. always distracted.
i need to change these bad habits ahh!! >.< alvin ="x)
That's the little rascal =====>
haha in his favourite liverpool steven gerrard jersey. deadly assists and cool finishes from him. he's got potential too. =P
YAYE i'm going to CCK for soccer tomorrow. It's gonna be the last game at that memorable place, because King's going back to Hong Kong and there'll be no organiser thereafter! Dang.
okie shall end today's post with a catchy song by Fountains of Wayne. They're a good band. Sing nice songs too. Well can't wait to try out How to Save a Life by The Fray with the gang soon. catch you guys real soon.
Fountains of Wayne - Hey Julie
"Working all day for a mean little man
With a clip-on tie and a rub-on tan
He's got me running 'round the office like a dog around a track
But when I get home,
You're always there to rub my back
Hey Julie,
Look what they're doing to me
Trying to trip me up
Trying to wear me down
Julie, I swear, it's so hard to bear it
And I'd never make it through without you around
Hours on the phone making pointless calls
I got a desk full of papers that means nothing at all
Sometimes I catch myself staring into space
Counting down the hours 'til I get to see your face
Hey Julie,
Look what they're doing to me
Trying to trip me up
Trying to wear me down
Julie, I swear, it's so hard to bear it
And I'd never make it through without you around
No, I'd never make it through without you around
How did it come to be
That you and I must be
Far away from each other every day?
Why must I spend my time
Filling up my mind
With facts and figures that never add up anyway?
They never add up anyway
Working all day for a mean little guy
With a bad toupee and a soup-stained tie
He's got me running 'round the office
Like a gerbil on a wheel
He can tell me what to do
But he can't tell me what to feel
Hey Julie,
Look what they're doing to me
Trying to trip me up
Trying to wear me down
Julie, I swear, it's so hard to bear it
And I'd never make it through without you around;
No I'd never make it through without you around."
Thursday, July 06, 2006
what does.
Lifehouse songs would usually work on rainy days like these.
they don't seem to lift me up today though.
instead they would just pull me down further.
though Lifehouse has been such great inspiration for the past few months, their songs show great optimism in them which i cling onto hoping for something similar.
however the lyrics somehow show me fairytales and castles nowadays; i can't and may never be able to achieve what it says, the beautiful and romantic stories in them.
sorry lifehouse, i used to believe in your songs. i really did. i've learnt the hard way now and i realise they can't come true. though these songs are just genuinely flawless.
i guess you've won. you got what you wanted. satisfied? happy? leaving me here like i'm standing alone in the middle of the road with the cold pouring rain battering painfully on my head. i needed a break. i had one. now i think i'm going on a long vacation. those who helped pushed me on, i thank you dearly. Ben, Ryan, Ale, Wenhao, Jo, Sen, Chien Wei and those i missed out i'm sorry. i think i'm too tired to hang onto the edge of the cliff. i've lost and that's all i can say.
i'm damn pissed with Sharon Phua; that no good biatch. well thanks to her, she partly ruined my day yesterday. i hope she burns. i just wanna stab her in the neck.
i realised the easiest way to lose something is to want it too badly. 100%? screw it. sick of it already. been played, cracked, stumbled and fell. you can think that i've given up, or just let go for the time being. you can think whatever you want. i've just been through hell and back.
shall end off with this rockin song by Gavin DeGraw. the lyrics don't matter at all, it's the music that's nice.
Gavin DeGraw - Follow Through
"Oh, this is the start of something good
Don't you agree?
I, haven't felt like this in so many moons
You know what I mean?
And we can build through this destruction
As we are standing on our feet
So,since you want to be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
For you to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you'll have to follow through
You have to follow through
These reeling emotions they just keep me alive
They keep me in tune
Oh, look what I‘m holding here in my fire
This is for you
Am I too obvious to preach it?
You're so hypnotic on my heart
So,since you want to be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
For you to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you'll have to follow through
You have to follow through
The words you say to me are unlike anything
that's ever been said.
And what you do to me is unlike anything
that's ever been.
Am I too obvious to preach it?
You're so hypnotic on my heart
So since you want to be with me,
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
For you to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through
You're gonna have to follow
Oh, this is the start of something good
Don't you agree?"
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
so sick.
1st day of school sucked.
worries about results for common tests, though i know i would fail most of the subjects.
tonnes of homework piling up with little time to do.
project work shit to settle with a useless teacher being biased against my group.
loads of council stuff to do with so little time which is absolutely ridiculous.
worst of all : after cutting my hair for less than a week, a fuckin SP demanded me to go cut again and totally attitude prob-ed me at the busstop. thus i went to cut my hair with Ben today. *WASTE MY TIME AND MONEY*
from glad to sad to pissed, that's the timeline of my feelings. i know that of all feelings, pissed should not be in the list at all but somehow i feel violated. i FELL. i gave a 100%, but now i'm too tired too sick to think about it no more. i need a break, a vacation to keep my mind off it. maybe i'm expecting too much. argh screw it.
just came home, talked to Ben on the long trip on the bus and discussed the possibilities and stuffs. Thanks bro. no mood to talk much anyway. shall leave this post with a song that just popped into my head.
Mcfly - Obviously
"Recently I've been,
Hopelessly reaching
Out for this girl,
Who's out of this world.
Believe me.
She's got a boyfriend
He drives her round the bend
Cos he's 23
He's in the marines
He'd kill me
For so many nights now
I find myself thinking about her now.
'Cause obviously,
She's out of my league
But how can I win
She keeps draggin' me in and
I know I never will be good enough for her."
Monday, July 03, 2006
dead. alive. dead again. alive again.
this is some blog i have here.
nah it's just all me, i'm just too lazy to blog.
i'm typing the 3rd sentence and already i'm feeling bored of this.
sorry for those out there anticipating a post that never came - Here it is! =)
from May 6th till now, it's been a really long time. Loads of stuff happened, some sucked, some rocked, but that's life. i shall sum it up short from May 6th till now the major events that took place. Becoming a councillor, Solaris Outing, Street Fest, Ben going to the US of A and back, lotsa procrastinating occurring during the period of trying to study for Mid-year CTs, going out on Class Outings, going back to school for boring and redundant stuffs, having CTs, complaining about CTs and finally not giving a shit about CTs anymore cause they are over. Hmmm...that's about it.
Let's talk about life. It sucked for some parts. When it sucked, it really hits the spot where I felt like kicking everyone whose face i didnt like; like tearing up myself; like going nuts cause the feeling is definitely like crap when the road gets bumpy on the route called 'LIFE'. When there was a smooth sailing part, of course it rocked, i would forget all sorrows and anger in me and let happiness become the better of me. Fortunately, when there were down times, friends were always there to support me and keep me from falling. I really appreciate that from you guys.
It's Monday, you know what that means? of course you don't. It's the 2nd last day of my holiday. Shall head to school on Wednesday again(ARGHHH). Went to KAP really early in the morning today to meet up Wenhao and Ryan. Had a hearty breakfast and chatted for a really long time before i headed over to the other table for council stuffs. After that was over to Wel's house and it rocked because we really had fun with Wil, Wel and Angie while playing my favourite childhood boardgame , HOTEL. it may seem really dumb or what but i don't care what you think, it still rocked. After that we went for dinner, chatting about what we would do over at Grandma's when we were young before i headed home. woohoo, days like these where we can revisit our childhood are hard to come by and i really wish for more to come but everyone is busy with work and all.
You know how it sucks when you don't get a friggin reply or answer, especially when you're in a rush to do something or waiting anxiously for an answer? You would feel like a dumb shit, sitting down waiting like a freaking idiot, with times wasted thinking of what to do and anticipating for the person to reply but it usually never comes or takes eternity to arrive and when it does, it is usually too damn fuckin late.(sorry for the language but i am pissed) due dates for stuffs are coming and the person would seem like he or she is avoiding you and you would be like, "Alright screw this and screw the hell outta you." i am through with this bullshit, just give me a friggin answer and don't keep me waiting like a fuckin idiot cause you are just plain wasting my fuckin time!
okay, vended my anger there. that's about it. sorry if you feel offended or disturbed readin the last paragraph but i just had to release it in me. shall give you all another post soon(i really hope i would not be bored by blog) and shall end off with this favourite song of mine Ben and I have been jamming and got kinda addicted to it. Sure it's a sad song but it still rocks. Here it is:
The Fray - How to Save a Life
"Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
you begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life.
Had I known how to save a life."