Friday, November 24, 2006

dance with you.

wooh this week has been a looong week for me.
most of it was fun though.
had a couple of intensive 9-ball action with ben few days back which really rocked.
also ben and i went to saumya's house as yesterday as we prepared a HUGE(okay not that huge) surprise for shubha and katwoman.
it was rocking, except during the lighting of the candles when sumyutha accidentally burnt part of her hair as she screamed ear-piercingly and jumping around the room and the house.
all ben and i did were stunned, pinching our noses, then bursting into hysterical laughter.
though after that she kinda got pissed at us for doing nothing, we couldnt really do anything. but i gotta admit it really was hilarious.(sorry sumyutha, haha)
today was great too.
although my YLTC buddy james didnt make it.
went out with less than half of the 1-ders to marina south and ate seafood buffet.
stuffed my face together with alvin, ian, nat, elaine and jess.
didnt felt that good afterward though.
haha we need a 1-ders + incredibles gathering soon.

oh yea had a couple of sleepovers at ben's and vice versa too.
watched liverpool beat eindhoven as both the englishmen netted in the 2-0 victory. WOOHOO.
just realised that i'm going bankrupt soon.
pool + carl's jr. + late night snacks + even more pool + great food = $0
and no i'm not gonna take any out of my bass fund.

landon pigg left me this song to think about.
it just crosses my mind occasionally though.

"Well you're the closest thing I have
To bring up in a conversation about a love that didn't last
But I could never call you mine
'Cause I could never call myself yours
And if we were really meant to be
Well then we justify destiny
It's not that our love died, just never really bloomed

Well I can't let go
No, I can't let go of you
You're holding me back without even trying to.
I can't let go, I can't move on from the past
Without lifting a finger you're holding me back.

And then we saw our paths diverge
And I guess I felt okay about it until you got with another man,
And then I couldn't understand why it bothered me so.
How we didn't die we just never had a chance to grow.

I can't let go
No, I can't let go of you
You're holding me back without even trying to.
I can't let go, I can't move on from the past.
Without lifting a finger you're holding me back.

And it might not make much sense
To you or any of my friends
Though somehow still you affect the things I do.
And you can't lose what you never had
I dont understand why I feel sad every time I see you out with someone new.

I can't let go
No, I can't let go of you
You're holding me back without even trying to.
I can't let go, I can't move on from the past
Without lifting a finger you're holding me back.
I can't let go
I can't move on from the past."

Sunday, November 19, 2006

sink or swim.

woah. 5 days have gone so fast.
these 5 days were so fun, it'll take forever if i were to post it.
well they said time flies when you're having fun.
at first i thought it would be a total waste of time;
i was so wrong. it turned out to be the best camp i've been to.
obstacle course, Sea Ex. around Ubin, Land Ex. around the whole of Singapore, waking up at 3.30am just to walk and jog 11km to Ngee Ann Poly and back to NJ, sleeping right in the open beside the beach, doing late night sentry duty alongside soldiers. etc. it couldnt get any unique and exhilerating than this.
oh yes, the best thing of all is my group.
everyone in there rocked, i mean that was probably the best thing throughout the YLTC.
played cards right out in the open in the dark, joking around, making fun of James etc.
i'm so exhausted but i'm so grateful and glad that my team pushed me on.
made great friends, forged stronger bonds.

5 whole days gave me quite some time to think too.
i guess it's just too fast for me.
i'm pushing the stop button.
but thanks to the 3 best people who stood by me throughout: Ben, Shaun and Ale.
was true it was you i missed during this five days.
think it's just best for me to stop right now.
for both's sake.

"We should go to sleep now, you should stay the night.
I’ll be up to watch the world around us live and die.
Lying on the grass now, dancing for the stars.
Maybe one will look on down and tell us who we are.

We might fall, we might fall, we might fall
oh Honey we might fall
We might fall, we might fall, we might fall
oh Honey we might fall

I could join the circus, and you could sell your hair.
I could learn to walk the line or learn to train the bears.
Tell me are you crazy, and did you like the cold.
Tell me are you comfortable if comfortable at all.

We might fall, we might fall, we might fall
oh honey we might fall
We might fall, we might fall, we might fall
oh honey we might fall
Now that we are older, I remember you.
Reaching out to show me all the things that I must do.
Now that we are older, I remember youth.
Now that we are close to death and close to finding truth.

We might fall."

Thursday, November 09, 2006

stars.

when i look at the stars, i see someone.

Monday, November 06, 2006

pain, give yourself a name.

from one perspective, it seems rather hard.
from another though it's the opposite.
i'm really stuck at crossroads now; i have no idea what to do next.
confused, lost, dilemma;
i'm learning to breathe, literally.
i feel like a burden, i'm always seeking for answers when i talk to ben, shaun or ale.
the answer may not be positive, but i'm still dying to know.
and i was told that at least i understood how it is right now,
thus handling it would be at greater ease.

the question is, to let it go or not?
fear begets more fear, fear begets weakness.
pain, please give yourself a name.

life is short, and that's why there is this concept of 'living for the moment'.
2 of the best people i've met in my life faced their set of problems recently.
these 2 persons have been the pillars through my down times.
it was only obvious if i returned the favour.
no i cannot repay them no matter what for what they've did, but i try.
it's just that sometimes, we gotta put that concept into our lives.
i know i can't.

and you'll be gone for a long time soon,
i'm stuck in a moment i can't get out of.
from what it seems now,
i being pessimistic and a thinker;
can't help but realise that chances are really slim.
moreover there's no progress
and tell me what can i do in order to make it natural?
i want to believe.
it's not that i lack confidence.
perhaps just a tingle of assurance could really help.

"Seems like I'm always on my own,
Seems like I'm never coming home
Seems like I'm always on my own...
All the stars and boulevards aren't close enough for you...

Late nights, won't do me justice
Cause when I drink...
I just get so damn depressed,
And its not like, I ain't trying to get over you.
It's just hard to look at the seasons, pass me over too...

Seems like I'm always on my own,
Seems like I'm never coming home
Seems like I'm always on my own...
All the stars and boulevards ain't close enough for you...

One last phone call from you, it wouldn't hurt much,
Just like to hear your voice and pretend to touch,
Any inch of you that hasn't said it all or
Read it all or sung my life away."

Saturday, November 04, 2006

learning to breathe.

i can't help but feel extra nonchalant as i headed towards yushu's house today for my class gathering.
it ain't any normal class gathering, it was the class of 6A of year 2001. yes, it's my primary school class gathering.
i mean meeting up with people i've not met in one year('cause we make it a deal to have at least 1 class gathering every year after we graduated), many of them have changed.
met up with clemens then we walked a long route up a hill pass a isolated area before reaching this mansion(okay maybe i'm exaggerating but his house was huge).

maybe i'm laughing at this now but it seems so dejavu-ish.
it was not much of a difference as it was before last time as it is now.
thinking back, i was lamenting to my good friend wang ting about it while we were walking home from school everytime.
guess some things never change do they?
and yes he just withstood my complains and whiney diney crap every single time.
oh if i said i was young and stupid then, now i would still be the same as before.
i'm off to watch the liverpool match with ben now.
peace.

"When I’m on fire
When you’re near me
I’m on fire
When you speak
And I’m on fire
Burning at these mysteries
These mysteries."