Thursday, July 12, 2007

disarray

i had better update now lest the blog becomes really dead and no one visits this forever.
shall make this a short one though.

why must it always be this way?
whenever i finally feel like i'm getting hope back, some things would just happen and take my optimism away.
i just feel confused; i feel like i've lost track of everything, like someone pressing on the restart button.
i feel terrible; so worried that it'd be replayed and i'd fall.
head spinning; then why must it go on? my mind's thrown into utter chaos again.
i just feel that some things cant be concealed for too long.
hope and i just arent meant to be friends, i'm beginning to lose hope all over again.
please, if none of this is true then stop it, i'm vulnerable, i'm only human.
don't say or do for the sake of it; mean it, if not do nothing at all.

i want to close my eyes and just pretend i didn't see anything;
then none of these negative thoughts would flow in.
but i can't, i just can't help but think now.
thinking what has been happening for the past few weeks,
is it just me? or is there really nothing at all to begin with?
then why do i feel that it's gonna repeat again.

mess.
someone tell me what's going on before i do something stupid again.
please.